is jealously. I hate being jealous. I know being jealous is not a good thing, but I honestly can't help it. When I look at them, when I see how happy they are together, I get jealous. Because that is exactly what I wanted. And I thought that we could have had that. I don't know why it's so hard for him to give me what he gives her. They make each other truly happy, and you can see that plain and simple. Maybe I was doing something wrong, but all I ever wanted to do was to make him as happy as he obviously makes her. They enjoy spending time together, it's not looked at like a bad thing, no one thinks that she is stealing him away from his friends.. I just don't get it. I wanted that so bad. I'm so jealous.
I know, I know. This is exactly why I have to let go.. because there IS some guy out there who will make me feel like she feels, and there is a guy out there who I can make the happiest he has ever been, like he is with her..
I guess it's all part of life, it's all part of growing up..
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
After a while
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every good-bye you learn.
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every good-bye you learn.
After a while
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every good-bye you learn.
you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers
And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every good-bye you learn.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Hi There.
It's been a while since I posted, it seems like that's always what I say. I should be better about updating this- although who knows if anyone reads it!
Life is good, like always.
Roommate drama, well with one roommate. Chances are you already know about it. I'm not gonna go into detail on the web because that's immature haha. But yeah..
SCHOOL is crazy. I'm working super hard and am taking way too many units but that's nothing new.. i'm soo ready to be out of school already!!
let's see what else..
boys = stressful.
family= amazing, they were up here last weekend and we had so much fun going to the football game and we made a trip to the grand canyon, plus it was just so nice to see them, since i don't get to see them nearly enough! but i'm headed home in a few weekends and i'm SUPER excited about that :) although my dad won't be there :( i won't get to see him until thanksgiving! wayy too far away :( i miss him!!
i miss a lottt of people actually. my friends and my family for the most part.. i feel like i'm drifting away from everyone! i have been trying super hard to keep in touch with them better...
hmm that's all. i should get back to studying for my exercise physiology exam now..
goodbye my loves!!
Life is good, like always.
Roommate drama, well with one roommate. Chances are you already know about it. I'm not gonna go into detail on the web because that's immature haha. But yeah..
SCHOOL is crazy. I'm working super hard and am taking way too many units but that's nothing new.. i'm soo ready to be out of school already!!
let's see what else..
boys = stressful.
family= amazing, they were up here last weekend and we had so much fun going to the football game and we made a trip to the grand canyon, plus it was just so nice to see them, since i don't get to see them nearly enough! but i'm headed home in a few weekends and i'm SUPER excited about that :) although my dad won't be there :( i won't get to see him until thanksgiving! wayy too far away :( i miss him!!
i miss a lottt of people actually. my friends and my family for the most part.. i feel like i'm drifting away from everyone! i have been trying super hard to keep in touch with them better...
hmm that's all. i should get back to studying for my exercise physiology exam now..
goodbye my loves!!
Monday, September 28, 2009
I stole this from Miss Molly Marron. :) I liked it a lot and didn't want to forget it- so I'll write it in my blog.
'I’ll go out there and make my mistakes. I’ll fall down, get hurt, cry, laugh, love, and get back up. I’ll stand on the highest mountaintop and go into the deepest caverns, visit the moon and swim in outer space. I’ll let my imagination run wild... and let my spirit soar. Why? When my life flashes before my eyes, I want to have something worthwhile to watch, with plenty of love and laughter, good times and bad.'
xoxo,
Tracy
'I’ll go out there and make my mistakes. I’ll fall down, get hurt, cry, laugh, love, and get back up. I’ll stand on the highest mountaintop and go into the deepest caverns, visit the moon and swim in outer space. I’ll let my imagination run wild... and let my spirit soar. Why? When my life flashes before my eyes, I want to have something worthwhile to watch, with plenty of love and laughter, good times and bad.'
xoxo,
Tracy
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
School.
How come it has to be soo hard? Classes are just starting to get SO in-depth, it's soo hard to take more than one at a time. I wish it WERE possible to take one class at a time so I could actually take my time to focus and understand every single little concept. It's just absolutely crazy how much there is to know about the human body- from my nutrition class AND in my exercise physiology class. I wish I could just understand it without having to study for somewhat of 10 hours a day! Sheesh! That's just insane!
Right now I have been studying for 3 hours just doing a study guide with 13 questions on it- and I'm not even done. It's for my exercise physiology lecture, I have an exam on Thursday. It's crazy too, the exam is T/F, MC & SHORT ANSWER. Yes short answer. AND for the T/F questions, we have to justify our answers. So basically you have to know your shit. I'm suuuper nervous about it. There is just SO MUCH information to know!
And to top it all off, I have another nutrition quiz tomorrow. I BOMBED the first one (it's ok because she drops 5). So after I finish this study guide, I have to start studying for that. AND we have an exam in Nutrition on Friday. Who gives a quiz the day before the exam? Strange. Whatever though.
I'm trying soo hard to do my best. Where is all the fun in college? Why am I genetically programmed to HAVE TO DO GOOD? How come I can't be okay with C's like everyone else?!?!!
Grrr.. this better pay off in the long run.
I want a boat. ASAP. Hahaha.
Okay, well back to studying about how much ATP you get from a 14 carbon fatty acid.. wooooo.
Right now I have been studying for 3 hours just doing a study guide with 13 questions on it- and I'm not even done. It's for my exercise physiology lecture, I have an exam on Thursday. It's crazy too, the exam is T/F, MC & SHORT ANSWER. Yes short answer. AND for the T/F questions, we have to justify our answers. So basically you have to know your shit. I'm suuuper nervous about it. There is just SO MUCH information to know!
And to top it all off, I have another nutrition quiz tomorrow. I BOMBED the first one (it's ok because she drops 5). So after I finish this study guide, I have to start studying for that. AND we have an exam in Nutrition on Friday. Who gives a quiz the day before the exam? Strange. Whatever though.
I'm trying soo hard to do my best. Where is all the fun in college? Why am I genetically programmed to HAVE TO DO GOOD? How come I can't be okay with C's like everyone else?!?!!
Grrr.. this better pay off in the long run.
I want a boat. ASAP. Hahaha.
Okay, well back to studying about how much ATP you get from a 14 carbon fatty acid.. wooooo.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Here We Go Again by Demi Lovato
I throw all of your stuff away
I’m gonna clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
And ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we are through
'Cause I'm so much better without you
But it’s just another pretty lie
'Cause I break down
Every time you come around
O Oh O Oh
So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you
is so addictive
We're falling together
you'd think that by now I'd know
cause here we go go go again
You never know what you want
And you never say what you mean
But I start to go insane
Every time that you look at me
You only hear half of what I say
And you're always showing up too late
And I know that I should say goodbye
But it's no use
Can't be with or without you
O Oh O Oh
So how did you get hereunder my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
[ Demi Lovato Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together you’d think that by now I'd know
Cause here we go go go again
And again, and again, and again, and again, and again
I threw all of your stuff away
And I cleared you out of my head
And I tore you out of my heart
O oh o oh, o oh o oh
So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together you'd think that by now I'd know
Cause here we go go here we go again
Here we go again
Should have known better in trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again
Again (and again, and again)
Again (and again, and again)
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
I’m gonna clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart
And ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we are through
'Cause I'm so much better without you
But it’s just another pretty lie
'Cause I break down
Every time you come around
O Oh O Oh
So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you
is so addictive
We're falling together
you'd think that by now I'd know
cause here we go go go again
You never know what you want
And you never say what you mean
But I start to go insane
Every time that you look at me
You only hear half of what I say
And you're always showing up too late
And I know that I should say goodbye
But it's no use
Can't be with or without you
O Oh O Oh
So how did you get hereunder my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
[ Demi Lovato Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together you’d think that by now I'd know
Cause here we go go go again
And again, and again, and again, and again, and again
I threw all of your stuff away
And I cleared you out of my head
And I tore you out of my heart
O oh o oh, o oh o oh
So how did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go
Cause here we go go go again
Hard as I try I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together you'd think that by now I'd know
Cause here we go go here we go again
Here we go again
Should have known better in trying to let you go
'Cause here we go go go again
Again (and again, and again)
Again (and again, and again)
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
And again
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