Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Nothing New.

You've all heard this before, every single part of it. So I don't know why I still feel hurt by it.. or why anyone listens to my complaining anymore.. But I told Brett last night that I can't do it anymore. I wish that I could. But I care more than he does, and that doesn't seem fair to me. I have to take care of myself. It's hard. It's almost like it was easier to just pretend like the loved me as much as I wanted and needed him to.. even though he didn't.. It's going to be really hard to really let this go this time. I love that man with all my heart and was willing to wait, but I don't think he is ever going to love me that deeply. Not now at least, not while I'm here and he is there. Maybe someday, who knows. But I won't count on it. I'm going to post some of the encouraging words I got last night from my friends who were attempting to comfort me..

"Aww Trace. I don't know how either but you can and you will. You are my sister and we will get you through this." -AM

"But that's not good enough girl. you deserve something real. beacuse you're amazing. and you deserve someone who recognizes that and treats you like a princess." LD

"i know. but girl you're holding onto something that isn't really there.. that you just want to believe is there still :( and that's whats so hard is that you're used to it and you're comfortable. but you just need to know that you deserve better." LD

"exactly. you deserve someone who makes you happy all the time. not someone that you have to keep telling yourself will one daymake you happy or that he tries to love you but doesn't know how. you need someone who loves you and knows he does and does everything he can to show you that he does. someone like that does exist." LD

"Cry your heart out tonight girl. Then tomorrow is a new day, hold your head up and know that you're better off without him and that you're giving someone else the chance to really love you!" EC

"I know you did! But this happens every time, you always end up hurt and crying when he doesn't seem to do much. you deserve way better! seriously! i know you're thinking that i don't understand and that i don't know your guyss love, which is true, but i do know that you should be happier more times than sad in a relationship. i think the only way to really start to let go is to cut him out for good and then you can begin healing again and really knowing how much more you deserve. i hope this doesn't hurt you anymore cause i really do only want you to be happy!" EC




I have the most amazing friends. I need you guys now more than ever. You have no idea how much your support helps me to get through all of this..<3

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