Here's a question: Why...?

Okay, so tonight has been kind of hectic. I have been doing homework and studying since about 7:00, and then my boyfriend called and we talked and we talked.. and the topic of my schooling came up, and what i plan to do...

and like.. here is where my question comes into play. WHY does it have to be so hard for me to make a decision? WHY can't it just be laid out flat in front of me.. what will benefit me the most in the long run? which school will influence my future career in the best way.. which school would i be the happiest at? if i leave NAU will i regret it?! Whyyyy do the answers to these questions not exist!!! How come i couldn't be one of those kids who never had a doubt about what they were going to do.. it seems like even everyone i know at junior colleges have it all planned out SO much better than i do.. they know where they are going and what they want to do.. why can't that be the case for me? whyy does this all have to be so mind-boggling and confusing? why do my emotions have to go on the biggest rollercoaster over and over again, yet still getting no where? Im so so stuck lately, and im sick of having NO IDEA...literally NO STINKIN IDEA of what to do.. every pro balances out every con, and vice versa. im STUCK. how the hell am i supposed to make a decision? WHAT am i supposed to do?!!?!? I don't even know what will make me the happiest.. but then again i can't make a decision based only on right NOW... ughhh goodness gracious. Loooorrd help me!!!


but i know how blessed i am. i have the most amazing mother in the entire world, who can frustrate me to tears and then make me feel 100% better by the time i get off the phone, and i have a boyfriend who supports me and will stay by my side no matter what i do... and friends through it all.


...now it's time to figure this out...