Friday, October 10, 2008
it's all adding up...
is how i feel lately. i don't know. this time a month ago, i was having SO much fun and just loving every aspect of everything. and i miss that. i'm seriously crying as i sit here writing this, because i don't know what happened.. somewhere along the way, that girl disappeared. i was so strong, and independent while still loving everyone in my life that means so much to me. and i mean, not that i don't love them.. but i feel like i'm sinking back into my hole. my mom just called me, and she was all talkative and stuff but for some reason i just was like.. blah. i couldn't really keep up a conversation with her.. i wasn't all happy and excited to hear from her or talk to her like i used to be. i don't know where the fun, happy, loves-everything tracy went. maybe it was all a hoax, i never really was that way.. and this is who i truly am.. just a lost little girl who is never really happy. :( i just want to be happy.. like.. in every sense of the word.. :(
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Trust me, I'm not always fun and bubbly either... & you're entitled to feel down & not happy 24/7 because if you did, you'd probably be lying to yourself. What I do is just try to make the best of everything & think of how good things will be in the future if I keep my head up now. And next time you come back to SD we ARE hanging out.. I don't care if I have to drag you somewhere haha !
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