It's hard to remember why I did it. I miss him so much. I just have to remember that he wasn't the same person that I fell in love with. Sure, I know he loves me.. But I think sometimes that isn't enough.. I miss him so much. I wish this never had to happen. I wish our relationship had been getting stronger instead of weaker. I wish he had wanted it as bad as I did. :(


So much for wishful thinking..
Where did it ever get anyone..


I go back to Flagstaff in a little over a week. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm excited sometimes, because it will be fun to be able to do whatever I feel like doing, and I won't hurt anyones feelings or lose any trust from anyone. I can make new friends and meet new people, and maybe it will help me move on. But I'm also scared that I'm going to miss my family more than ever, who am I going to turn to when I just feel like crying? I can't get hugs from them when I feel lonely. I won't be able to call Brett just to talk to someone.. I won't be able to do any of that. So I'm scared. I don't know what to do.


I just feel so lost in life right now.
I don't feel like myself anymore..
Why did I lose that?
:(